Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
