You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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