i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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