Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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