I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
