why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
