Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
