just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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