I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
