those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My bed smells like the plague
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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