I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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