we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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