u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
