I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
