You can't motorboat a personality
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
