No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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