Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
