i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't put those talents on a resume
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
