And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
