those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
