Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
