She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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