I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
