What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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