for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
