just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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