I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
