so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
