Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize