ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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