You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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