Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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