you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
