I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
