hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
