Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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