Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
