too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
