As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Vodka?
Forever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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