I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
