Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
