But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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