I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
