and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He felt like a one man threesome
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
