I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Randomize
