Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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