You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
