You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Damn victory sex feels great
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
