You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
