'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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